A VERY bright and a capable student of mine -- let's call him Sameer -- registered for the GMAT examination.

His goal: to get admission to the best business school possible.

For this, he needed a score of 650 or more. Having worked for three years, he decided to take a month off to prepare for the exam. He plunged into the world of word lists and math formulae.

The closer he got to the exam, the more he started losing his nerve.

At the last minute, he opted out of the GMAT, deciding to look at European business schools that did not need the 'dreaded' GMAT results.

Sameer blew the GMAT so out of proportion that he could not bear the thought of not doing well.

Had he kept a calm head, and prepared for the exam step by step, he might have scored decently.

Fear Of Failure can whip all rational thought out of your head and leave you feeling anxious and stressed. While this FOF may push and motivate you to keep competing and performing better, it can
also engulf and paralyse you, blanketing you in doom and depression.

But escapism is no solution!

Over the years, I have noticed that perfectionists/ ambitious achievers are more likely to be FOF victims. Their focus on the goal is so intense that they lose sight of the ladder that is getting them there.

Often, we open the cupboard but take no notice of the contents -- our mind is preoccupied with other matters. FOF is similar, but with a higher intensity.

Some stress factors opting for further education after putting in a few years of work are:
* You will probably take time off your career, leading to loss of salary or income.
* You will be spending money on your education and have to find sources to fund it.
* The stakes are higher now, so are expectations.

You are under pressure not only to perform well, but to be super perfect about your decision, too. It is easy to drift away and concentrate more on the magnitude of your decision rather than the more important tasks of planning, organising, collecting information, etc.

Anita, another one of my students studying in London, once called her mother in the middle of an FOF crisis. She had set high standards for herself. She was aware of the large amounts of money invested in her education, and she had not been able to complete a particularly tough assignment.

Her mother told her something very precious: "What is the big deal if you fail? You will not be the first person in the world nor will you be the last, "she said.

I don't know how many mothers have the clarity to tell their children this. But the reality is, failing is not as big a deal it is made out to be.

The classic story of the spider climbing the wall repeatedly is a cliché. But there is a gem of truth that can still give us food for thought and the will to climb out of that hole we sometimes dig for ourselves.

Photograph: Associated Press

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